i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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