3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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