We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
