Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
