i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
