Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
please come you make the beer taste better
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
