went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
