Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
