just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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