You can't special order awesome
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
