Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've blown a few things in my day
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
