He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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