It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
