Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
