Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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