idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
