we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
