i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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