Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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