Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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