I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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