your room smells of hookers.
And success
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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