so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
tell me about the eggs
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