I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
