I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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