this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
