Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
