He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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