but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
