Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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