I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Lo siento on account of my penis...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
