ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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