Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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