listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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