Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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