I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
