Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
