Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Can I color on your dick again?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
