I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im six kinds of drunk right now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I didn't notice because vodka
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
