Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
