That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
