are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
