I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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