ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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