i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
