Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
