you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
