Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
