when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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