My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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