He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
