Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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